Thanks for Listening: Vol. I

In our busy world, filled with eager voices, the simple act of generous listening can sometimes be overlooked. Yet, it is through generous listening that we uncover the deep connections and understanding that enrich our lives. Generous listening is having the intention to listen with the heart as well as well as the mind to oneself, to others, and to nature; listening with curiosity, openness, courage, and responsiveness. This belief in the power of listening has been a guiding force in my own life, teaching me that the freedom to speak is only as valuable as our willingness to listen. Generous listening isn’t just about being quiet while others speak—it is about engaging actively and building a skill that grows stronger with practice. 

This idea is what inspired me to start Vuslat Foundation. We’re here to champion the art of listening, to foster empathy and understanding, and to create deeper connections among us all. This newsletter is a part of that mission. It’s a place for us to share and celebrate the transformative power of generous listening. 

I’m thrilled you’re here with us, embarking on this journey. Together, let’s discover the life-changing impact of generous listening.

”Being a good listener is one of the most important and enchanting life skills anyone can have. Yet few of us know how to do it, not because we are evil but because no one has taught us how. So we come to social life greedy to speak rather than to listen, hungry to meet others but reluctant to hear them. Our civilization is full of great books on how to speak, Cicero’s On the Orator, Aristotle’s Rhetoric, but sadly no one has ever written a book called The Listener.” 

– Alain de Botton

The Shcool of Life, Penguin: 2020

”I learned to listen in Japan. I learned to listen by having only one objective: comprehension. I was only trying to understand what the person was trying to convey to me. I wasn’t listening to critique or object or convince.” 

– Sam Palmisano, former CEO of IBM

A good listener engages physically and mentally, shares eye contact, and uses positive affirmation to show they are paying attention. When we listen to connect, we activate the part of the brain that allows us to comprehend spoken language. The stronger the relationship is between the speaker and the listener, the stronger and more successful the conversation will be. Neural coupling, or synchrony between speakers and listeners, predicts the success of a conversation. A study from Princeton University, using fMRI to record brain activity from both speakers and listeners during natural verbal communication, shows how a speaker’s brain activity is coupled with the listener’s during successful communication. When we connect at a deeper level with others, our brain patterns mimic each other’s—we actually start to see the world through their eyes. Being able to see the world from others’ perspectives is the benchmark of conversational Intelligence and transformational conversations. Recent research has proven that there is a sea of biochemical and neural activity inside our brains and bodies that influence our ability to connect, navigate, and grow together.” Psychology Today. 

More on neurosynchrony, how listening to someone tell you a story makes your brain do some of the same kinds of things that the speaker’s brain was doing, and what that means for the human condition. 

Story Corps is a project built on the notion that everyone has an important story to tell and that everyone’s story matters. Its founder, David Isay, describes listening as an act of love and has a book with the same title. Story Corps is now in its 20th year and proves our own conviction that there is really only one story and that is the human story. Late poet John O’Donohue notes that love is the only light which enables us to see the individuality and the soul of our counterpart and Story Corps feels like a proof of that proposition as well as the premise and the promise of generous listening. 

Highlights: 

“We cannot and must not wish away or demonize the people who disagree with us” Kumi Naidoo 

“We miss out on huge wisdom because we do not listen” Josette Sheeran of the World Food Program  

What artwork or literary work depicts best for you the alchemy of generous listening? Let us know at [email protected]